Do Not Aim to Be The Most Perfect Teacher
Terri Germain-Williams
Picture this with me:
It’s your first day in your very own classroom. You spent weeks pouring over curriculum and materials. But you also enjoyed sun-filled splashful weekends on your very last summer before your own first classroom. You decorated your bulletin boards and organized your classroom space. You were locked out of the bathroom and didn’t know where, exactly, to park. Who knew there would be such a hierarchy and so much tradition to learn about where you can and can’t park as a newbie! As you stand there, hours before the children arrive because you were too excited to sleep, putting together final touch-ups and practicing your opening speech, please do remember:
Do not aim to teach perfectly.
In Fall 2020, I taught Philosophy of Education and this time with simulcast - half masked and in person and half on the screen. I realized that most of what I had to teach in theory was very interesting and super thoughtful, but mostly irrelevant in Fall 2020. Socratic circles, question relays, jigsaws, matching games, and gallery walks - some of my very best stuff - interactive tools for my student to bring with them and integrate in their future lesson plans - were all out of the question. I taught the least amount of content I ever have in any semester in Fall of 2020. I assessed the least. I modeled the least of those trusty replicable strategies . I laughed the least. I gave the least feedback. I facilitated the least amount of group work and modeled discussion by questioning in my lessons the least. But my course evaluations were the absolute best I’ve ever had here at Fairfield U. I did not aim to be the most perfect teacher in Fall 2020. I didn’t put pressure on myself like I had in previous semesters about what those evaluations would say. My evaluations should be stellar; after all I am supposed to be one of the experts on teaching here! I venture to say I didn’t really have a straightforward aim, but what I realized in reflecting on my own practice was that I, more than any other semester before, unintentionally balanced the curriculum with my care. I set out to be student-centered and connected. And that came through the screens and permeated the masks. There, without fully being cognizant of what was happening, I was modeling how to teach people though caring and connecting even in a challenging time.
So I beg you, Do not aim to teach perfectly.
Even so, I urge you: Do not aim to care perfectly.
Sonia Nieto puts it this way: “Teachers may think of caring as unconditional praise, or as quickly incorporating cultural components into the curriculum, or even as lowering standards. On the contrary, ..., an “ethic of care” means a combination of respect, admiration, and rigorous standards.”
Don’t aim to be the nicest or the most complimentary teacher. Don’t aim to care perfectly in this way; rather connect with all your students, and seek to honor each individual, no matter how challenging or quiet.
Zaretta Hammon’s research encourages us in this way, and I quote: “In culturally responsive teaching, rapport is connected to the idea of affirmation. Affirmation simply means that we acknowledge the personhood of our students through words and actions that say to them, “I care about you.” Too often, we confuse affirmation with building up a student’s self-esteem. As educators, we think it’s our job to make students of color, English learners, or poor students feel good about themselves. That’s a deficit view of affirmation. In reality, most parents of culturally and linguistically diverse students do a good job of helping their children develop positive self-esteem. It is when they come to school that many students of color begin to feel marginalized, unseen, and silenced.” ― Zaretta L. Hammond.
I saw this for myself. Many of you know, I have four biracial male children. I am very protective of them and I truly care about their educational experience. I was seeking out all of my options for their early education and checked out many different educational settings for them: Magnet schools, Montessori, Outdoor education, Independent schools, all of my options.
At one visit, I sat in a wonderfully engaging PreK classroom with a beautifully diverse class of 4 year olds. Mrs. Jones (name changed) was sweet and skilled and had all of the stations and materials any 4 year old could want. Costume station with a mini stage, a kitchen area, math manipulatives, even a puppet show with a rug for the audience, they taught Spanish and French daily. I watched children engaged in play and work, delighted and cared for. I watched as the teacher remarked on the hard words in the lesson, calling on only white children. “Ohhhh this is a hard one,” she said, “Johnny why don't you answer that” And then one of “the most challenging questions” of the morning and she called on Jenny. Jenny wasn't even there that day. My heart sank. And I knew this was not the school I could choose.
Now one reason I feel comfortable sharing this story with you is because I was once Mrs. Jones. In my early years of teaching I taught in Brooklyn at a school with 70% Hispanic and Latinx and 30% Caribbean students. I have three Caribbean Boys in my ninth grade algebra class Who I Really struggle to engage in conversation and discussion and sometimes even the work. Now I know 9th grade algebra is not the most exciting thing but I also knew that without engaging these boys would fall behind. I tried all kinds of different strategies. I tried seat changes, I tried buddies, I tried conferences and phone calls home. Nothing was working. I even instituted a five-minute Journal activity at the end of class, letting my students tell me whatever was on their mind if they broke up with her boyfriend oh, if they were a struggling with the lesson, if they had a incident with another teacher or student, I just wanted to know what was affecting your learning and how I could do better. So I read those journals everyday. I did my best and it still wasn't working. The inequity was really clear in a dialogue in my classroom.
I wasn’t giving up. I finally found the strategy that would work. I walked to the corner to the bodega and grabbed some chips and juice and invited them in for lunch-and-learn with me. Just the 3 boys and me and the math we’d be learning on the following day. I pre-taught the lesson every other day to them so that they knew the answers and they had seen the material they had previewed and they eventually became more and more comfortable coming to the board and giving answers in class.
Make it your practice to reflect on whose voices are heard and make it your aim to include all voices on a regular basis. Do not aim to care perfectly. Aim to affirm and hold all students to high standards.
Before I leave you with this quote from Vicktor Frankl. whose text, Man’s Search for Meaning, got me through the exact time period that you are experiencing right now, (Man’s Search for Meaning). Pick it up. Grab some tissues. Be transformed. But before I share my absolute favorite quote, one last don’t: Let me tell you don’t submit a perfect application. Coming of the most exhausting and exhilarating student teaching experience, checking my inbox for my certification status and any - oh any, interview requests, job searching, praying.
Do not aim for the perfect application.
I was sitting at my graduation jobless and rejected. I had enthusiastically and excitedly applied for Teach for America. I was ready to go anywhere TFA would send me. I was inspired by the works of Jean Anyon and Jonathan Kozol. I was packing my bags for San Diego, Baltimore, a part of me wanted to end up in Atlanta. Something different. I had so poured my heart and soul into that application. Rejected. And there was no waitlist ; no “try again” ; no let’s do an interview or take a next step. Also by the way, my very best friend who sent in a less enthusiastic application had been accepted. I had convinced her to apply. I kicked myself. I knew better. I should have been more precise in my answers, told them what they wanted to hear. But that application was truly me. No show, no tactic, all heart. And I was rejected outright. And that’s when I learned that not everything I want is for me. And if I had But if I had submitted the most perfect application and had been accepted, my whole life would have turned out so differently. I would not be here, for certain, if my 22 year-old self had aimed at submitting the perfect application and not the most authentic and aligned application.
What I would like you to consider today is to check in with yourself. Do not take a job out of fear. The path that is for you will feel exciting and aligned. Do not be anyone other than your amazing self. You are unique. You are here with a purpose and You are enough for the right position. Perfect doesn’t exist but be perfectly you. The right job and the right culture and the right hard work - not saying it’s going to be easy - but the more fully aligned you are with what you want and what you are here for, the more you are going to absolutely love the hard work and wake up every day excited to do it.
And with that, I know you all have very high expectations of yourself. I leave you with this, my most favorite quote from Viktor Frankl,
“Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.”
I wish you an absolutely amazing, successful, and happy adventure in your career as an educator. Congratulations and we honor you and we are excited for your entry into the profession.
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