I Suppose, Like Everything from the Previous Year, That Having Sabbatical During a Pandemic is, Well, a Puzzle to Sort Out

Truth: I set out in September ambitious with a goal I named for the 5 months I had to work for myself. I aimed at that goal, but found myself accomplishing numerous other goals that came out of left field (and with a writing accountability crew I had through friends at Syracuse University). The result? It wasn't a horrible sabbatical - I even ended up invited to be part of a middle-grade project that was a lot of fun - but I didn't necessarily accomplish my MAJOR goal that I named; instead, I ended up with several minor goals that added up in major ways. 

Some say this is the truth about academia; a sabbatical never results from its original intentions. That is part of the puzzle. I remember while working on my doctorate, I sat next to an engineer Ph.D. during a woman's basketball game who offered the following words, "Scholarship is a lifestyle and a way of being. It fuses personal and professional 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. Embrace the lifestyle, kid, and you'll be okay." 

That is true, but it is still puzzling to me because I'm never really sure if what I am doing is focused enough, rigorous enough, academic enough, or timely enough. I guess I just live as I do,and hope for the best.

Truth: Chitunga bought a puzzle when the sabbatical first began. It was in his room, then brought to the dining room table, then moved to the coffee table, only to be refashioned on the dining room table, turned into a side space in our newly arranged downstairs office. I knew the sabbatical was officially ending, so I got obsessed with trying to get the puzzle going. Of course, the edge work (minus one #$@#$ piece) was all I got to. 

Truth: The real work of academia came back at me in 2021 in full force. There's little to no time for such mental aerobics as puzzles (although I know myself and I'll obsess until it is completed). It was an excuse, however, to unwind and ssip bourbon on New Year's Day before I jumped knee deep into University service. 12 hours in one day helped me to think, "Phew. I'm glad you took last night off before the sh'bang really came at you in stereo."

Truth any trustee who financially provides fiscal (and professional) foundations for a functioning university: the publications, the teaching, and the service often applauded by you (or lamented) rarely covers the full capacity of the commitment, time, dedication, drive, and lifestyle it takes to stay afloat. It's a lot and I'm thankful that a career in K-12 teaching, plus excellent guidance at Syracuse and mentorship at Fairfield, has coupled with the National Writing Project network and colleagues in my professional organizations to keep me afloat. We need each other.

I started out writing this morning thinking that I was going to write a manifesto for what a sabbatical does for a soul, especially at a time when normalcy has subsided. For me, it afforded time to walk the dog, to have quality conversations at home, to read almost 100 young adult novels that I never could accomplish while teaching, publishing a substantial amount of peer-reviewed articles and book chapters, being able to give back to my parents when they needed my support, and enjoy living at home with little to no interactions that are typical to my world. I can say, though, that the move to online conferences (albeit sad and different) saved many hours that traditionally are spent traveling, presenting, and networking. If 2020 was normal, I would have been out-of-the-house and unable to read and write as much as I did. Further, I'd also be doing professional development in K-12 schools (which, obviously, kicked the bucket this Fall).

Truth: All of that will be back. There's no doubt about that. I am thankful I had the space that I did, especially to have time to travel to Syracuse twice when I was needed in the home of my childhood.

For the last five months, however, I've enjoyed being accountable to me and my world alone. That's hard to do, but sabbatical offers a space where I'm not doing countless things for others. An excused absenteeism from all meetings is enormously beneficial. I can't emphasize that enough...I'm returning from this space with a pre-determined adversity to all meetings that aren't efficient, necessary, organized, and purposeful. I'm also ready to bite my cheek as I know the bounty of inefficient, unnecessary, unorganized, and agenda'd meetings are right around the corner.

Truth: Playing well with others is important to maintaining an effective community. I know that leaders lead (and often recite the serenity prayer to keep them in check). I will be a good boy. I usually am (or at least try to be).

Today, I'm heading into another marathon of work, but it's okay. I signed up for this, I learn, I am impressed, and I'm humbled. I just hope I'm able to maintain the inner calm that I've felt professionally over the last few months, especially when CWP and teaching responsibilities regain momentum. I hope to remind myself that when it becomes impossible (which it will) I'll remember the importance of long hikes, long walks, running, skiing, and simply getting outside. 

Truth waiting to be made - Chitunga's puzzle, awaiting inquisitive fingers, will get accomplished soon.

A final Truth: Although he may disagree, having the past 5 months with Chitunga and I both working from home is something I'll cherish forever. I know the day is coming when he will break free from Mt. Pleasant and he's proven himself time and time again that he's ready for the responsibilities of an independent, adult life. Still, it's been wonderful watching him transition to post-Graduate School life and doing what he set out to do. I remain proud.