Sunday's #EthicalELA prompt was to have an out-of-body experience, and I went with humor writing about routines one is used to when having a dog...a poem about a pretty crappy subject. And so here it goes.
Shhh. On Adulting.
…it happens, shhh,
I whispered into a Mic
several years ago
while commencing tassels.
I anticipated the emails
about tact & sense of humor -
but the evidence was very clear.
The fresh bird droppings
drooped-dry
across my tuxedo jacket
as I walked into the school.
shhhhh, it happens,
I told them…
it’s the only advice I can give.
But that was then.
Today is Sunday
& I’m done playing
ring around the toilet bowl
with a bristled baton -
the lawn is already mowed.
Karal’s friend spent the night -
a wedding - and the mother-
of-the-bride needed a dog-sitter,
so I volunteered my home.
They’ve both been fed.
Glamis died unexpectedly in April.
Her stomach was full of puss & blood.
Good dog,
habitual at doing business
on morning and evening walks
so I could become a pro at sanitizing
the neighborhood
with plastic bags
and tossing 3-pointers
in the green, town-sponsored canisters
I memorized for deposit.
And I’ll be 50 soon.
I’ve been told about the aliens
coming my way to probe my health,
but I’ve spent a life
pondering colons,
semi-colons, and ellipses…
…all the while singing,
I’m halfway there
with Bon Jovi…
It happens…shhhh. I know.
Karal’s her own dog, though,
prissy & vocally self-conscious.
She thinks she’s on special duty
and not meant for public business.
She leaves her droppings
across the backyard
as if it’s a cookie tray.
My sneakers know this well,
as do flies, grubs, and gnats…
it’s part of Sunday’s plumbing;
my day for reflecting on empty nests,
& umbilical chords cut like the grass.
Shhh. It happens.
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